To dot the ice and cross the tees

We've all heard the immortal and wise saying, 'Half a loaf-er is better than none'.. Inspired by the pith of this celebrated adage, and with a sudden urge to better myself, i promptly decided to loaf around.. and so, @tuxerman and yours truly started tweeting a few one-liners.. twisting a proverb here, contorting an idiom there.. We dedicate these twisted nuggets to Narendra Shenoy, who loves making up long, winding stories around punny one-liners.. which, by the way, are now popularly called 'shenoys'! :)

[Ye shall find sriram's tweets here]

Alrighty then.. setting my hand to plough.. :)

When osama's men crashed on the World Trade Centre, they cut a long storey short

It's when u write ur lab record that u realise that the graph is greener on the other side

Leopards in the zoo never move about. They sit in a corner all day. And y is that? Because a leopard can never change its spot(s)

When u've nothing to do on a lazy day, u realise that all roads lead to Roam

Believe me, there are a lot of people who care abt the environment. They consume cartloads of spinach for dinner, wake up early in the morning and start their day by Going Green.

Samsung LCD displays sell because they ain't afraid to show their true colours

Jayan picked up his lightener and lit his cigarette. After he was done smoking with one, he stood in the same place and contemplated a second cigarette. He flashed his lightener. Didn't work.. because Lighten-er never strikes twice in the same place, duh!

Did u see his new sportscar? It's the torque of the town..

If Fate turned Thakur (of sholay) adrift on the streets , he would probably go begging for arms first, and alms later

The whole town plunged into darkness, when in a fit of rage, two electric lines decided to meet phase-to-phase

MNS leaders can't stand north indians living in maharashtra. They're always on the lookout for hindi-bashing opportunities. And we know that Raj Thackeray wears glasses. So, it's true what they say: Hind(i)sight is always twenty-twenty

If a child is born obese, it's mother is forced to give a wide birth to it.

If Nandan Nilekani, the brain behind the Unique Identification Authority, were to suddenly turn into an insane wreck, he would have taken leave of his census.

The juice-shop owner has had a great business this season: his story has been of profets and sheikhs!

If there's a heavy rush outside public toilets, people waiting for their turn tend to get all irate and restless. Really, they ought to mind their Pee's and Queue's!

Jharkhand has not registered much growth, despite being a state with Iron mines all over the place. I guess that's what they call an Irony!

(click here): 'Jintian Company is one that produces yarn-dyed fabric, cowherd's professional factory...' Positive proof to show that 'Cowherds dye many times before their death' :P

Well, all's swell that ends swell!