Dark clouds swept down on my mind..
Strangling my cheer, with a smile unkind..
They thundered and menaced on my bleeding heart..
They hurled on my sorrow, dart after dart..
Trudging through the mist- thick, chill and blind..
I cared nought for what lay 'head or behind..
For Fate stabbed my heart with a cruel knife..
Plundering me of a Friend & joy in life..
O pain & agony! Stop thy wicked play!
For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way..
Amidst tears and sobs, I rendered them my tale..
and lo! The clouds wept, and away went the gale!!
The Sun then emerged with a gleam in his eyes,
a smile on his lips, healing all malaise..
Heralding his wake, the burgeoning vale,
unfurled its beauty to the fullest scale!
Flowers blossomed forth and scented the air..
Trees danced in the breeze without a care..
Rivulets and creeks gurgled down the dale..
Birds sang & bees buzzed, adorning the vale..
I beheld this portrait of Nature's bliss..
But beneath I felt something amiss!
This new-found joy had filled my soul,
Yet I had none with whom to share this bowl..
I felt alone, even in a place so charming..
I felt forlorn, in this heaven enchanting..
My joy and my sorrow battled one another..
I stood helpless, for my friend wasn't hither..
Of what use is a joy that one can't share???
Of what use is sorrow that none's ears can bear??
The dark clouds swept down on me again!!
The vale too sparkled to humour me, in vain!!
11 comments:
Man superb...
nobody wud tel dat dis s ur 1st poem.
Gud use of metaphors, similes & u hav taken care n wrtng d poem n rhyme. Gud feel for d poem.
10 out of 10 4 d new born poet & his poem.
Suggestion: Cud hav been better if u had narrated d story of losing d frnd & d miseries it followed n a poetic fashion
Keep writing...
@happynuts,
thanks a lot!! :)
'losing' a friend can mean 2 things- either the friend has passed on to the next world.. or there was a strife/quarrel..
the word 'lost' is left for the reader to interpret in anyway he likes..so that he can relate it to his/her own life :)
thanx again.. :)
coooool.
nice rhyming. sounds gr8
Da u made me thnk, desp , senti & more...ME totally amidst mixed feelings. Lots of ppl hav com in2 life, so bcom frnds, som vry close, som bcom ur best frnds & n d worst scenario ur enemies & etc etc...
They play their assigned part n our life & move on...jus leaving behind som memories both gud & bad. At times small small thngs take us to those memories, whch hav been hiding somwhr n deepest part of our unconscious brain.
And ur poem s one among them...:)
......
For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way....
Of what use is a joy that one can't share???
Of what use is sorrow that none's ears can bear??
This of course wer d best lines according to me.
Gud depth n feel.
nd As odrs said: 'gud rhyme'.
emotions exprssd wid the ryt clime. .
Really beautiful..when in grief nothing appeals. So it is in happiness too. Thats for the meaning..As for the rhyme and meter and the flow of words, the poem speaks for itself
@ n5, rinusha, ramya
thanx a lot!! :)
Simply awesom. Dint kno there was a bloomin poet in u. As said by happynuts, it made me think...
awesome da.... beautiful is the word... now tat i can relate to tat pain of losing a friend so closely.... the word tat comes to my mind is beautiful... beautifully narrated....
superb man
drama...but a totally class act
n i go with rinusha....
......
For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way....
Of what use is a joy that one can't share???
Of what use is sorrow that none's ears can bear??
these lines r thumpin gud... n can u rhyme or wot? arsehole!!!!
:D
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