Wednesday, 17 June 2009

For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way..


Dark clouds swept down on my mind..
Strangling my cheer, with a smile unkind..
They thundered and menaced on my bleeding heart..
They hurled on my sorrow, dart after dart..

Trudging through the mist- thick, chill and blind..
I cared nought for what lay 'head or behind..
For Fate stabbed my heart with a cruel knife..
Plundering me of a Friend & joy in life..

O pain & agony! Stop thy wicked play!
For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way..

Amidst tears and sobs, I rendered them my tale..
and lo! The clouds wept, and away went the gale!!

The Sun then emerged with a gleam in his eyes,
a smile on his lips, healing all malaise..
Heralding his wake, the burgeoning vale,
unfurled its beauty to the fullest scale!

Flowers blossomed forth and scented the air..
Trees danced in the breeze without a care..
Rivulets and creeks gurgled down the dale..
Birds sang & bees buzzed, adorning the vale..

I beheld this portrait of Nature's bliss..
But beneath I felt something amiss!
This new-found joy had filled my soul,
Yet I had none with whom to share this bowl..

I felt alone, even in a place so charming..
I felt forlorn, in this heaven enchanting..

My joy and my sorrow battled one another..
I stood helpless, for my friend wasn't hither..

Of what use is a joy that one can't share???
Of what use is sorrow that none's ears can bear??

The dark clouds swept down on me again!!
The vale too sparkled to humour me, in vain!!

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Tawa wars!!!

The world is changing..
I can feel it in the wind.. I can smell it in the air..
The sweet smell that wafts by.. flirts with my nostrils..
Yes.. the time has come..
It is now that I must make haste.. I must act quickly..

Like a warrior drawing his sword, i raised the ladle..
i shoved it underneath the dosa..
and before the flame of the stove blackened the underside.. i swiftly flipped the dosa.. and tossed it back on the tawa..
triumphantly, i withdrew my ladle..
Thus, Dosa side-A was saved..

i admired my work.. enchanted, i beheld the golden-brown glow of the wafery crispness..
then, i looked up the chimney.. and raised my hands in thanksgiving..
'Thank you, Roy Plunkett (of Kinetic Chemicals).. Had it not been for you, we'd never have had the delight of using Non-stick Cookware!!'

Seriously, non-stick tawas 'rock'..( dosa-'kallu'..hehe)!!.. they're coated with teflon.. which means.. no matter how little ghee/oil/butter u add to the tawa, ur food does not stick on to it.. so, u can save on calories n stuff too.. wow!!
Hey.. isn't it quite ironical... that inspite of the Teflon Revolution... cookery-show-aunties are so fat these days??

Anyway, that being a side-issue.. i thought i'd discuss it later.. during breakfast, perhaps.. "who's fat and who's not" has always been a favourite topic since our non-stick arrived..
And as i waited for the flames to add their finishing touches to Dosa side-B, i turned my thoughts down memory lane..

It was 8 years ago.. i stood in the kitchen with a ladle in my hand.. my head held high.. (bcos i was trying to smell and assess whether the underside was blackening!!..).. suddenly, the dosa started behaving in a very odd manner.. it coughed and spluttered.. being a helpless 12 year old boy, i ran to fetch my mother.. she came and took over..

armed with the ladle, both of us struggled to pull the dosa away from the tawa.. it was a tug-of-war between the flames and us.. Fire was claiming the underside for itself.. and we started de-plastering it in every possible way.. (The tawa was a non-Non-stick type!!)

But alas!.. the dosa had stuck on blindly.. it was a battle that we lost.. tawas can be very demanding when they grow old.. so we put our foot down, and decided to do away with the monster.. We ordered a brand new non-stick tawa which serves us to this day..

I looked at the non-stick tawa beaming with pride..
But Shock! Horror! Disbelief!! My flashback had come with a price...
Fire was back with an evil grin... to reclaim Dosa side-B!!!

Friday, 10 April 2009

GPA: the 'G'rand 'P'icture of 'A'pplied-electronics..

I happen to know two people... Arjuna and Krishna... they're fellow engineering students.. krishna is the all-knowing omnipotent one.. arjuna is his friend who admires him endlessly... (hey, now wait a minute.. this sounds a li'l familiar... aha!! mahabharata.. bhagavat gita.. bravo!! u're a genius..)

krishna is a very knowledgeable fellow.. encyclopaedic, if i may use the word.. he talks abt technology, business, global issues, sports, philosphy... and arjuna simply gapes at him for his sheer intellect, speechless.. awestruck.. inebriated with the nectar of krishna's raw magnetism...

then one day, something happened that turned the world upside down.. no, not an earthquake or a tsunami.. no, no..not a hurricane either.. just take away the natural-disasters-category from ur mind..

arjuna had asked krishna a question to which he had no answer...
none at all..
krishna blinked.. (but blinking didn't help him find the answer either..)

this was what happened..

Krishna: (finishing lines of prev speech).. and that's how nutrigenomics promises a great future for mankind...
Arjuna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..):.. wow, krishna.. wow!!
K: (very unassumingly).. yes.. its great, i know..
A: krishna... krishna, can i ask u something?
K: sure..go ahead..
A: krishna.. what's ur GPA??
(silence)... (krishna thinks he didn't hear the question properly)...
K: er...my what... arjuna?
A: dude.. ur gpa...

Krishna thinks hard.. finally shakes his head.. and says, "dude.. i don't have the foggiest idea what u r talking abt.."
The world stood still.. Sea waves stopped in mid-tide and turned around to look at krishna.. the winds halted, surprised and shocked.. a guy trying to kill himself by jumping off from a flying jet, paused during mid-fall to wonder at what krishna had just said.. he had not heard of GPA..

A: Du'uh??!! krishna.. u've not heard of GPA??
K: ok now.. enough of this non-sense.. u r just bluffing.. what's this gpa anyway??
A: (takes a deep breath).. krishna... GPA.. is a way of life...
K: carry on..
A: u see.. GPA.. is like this philosophy that runs the wheels of the world..
K: eh??
A: well, how shall i explain it to u?.. GPA is like the universal answer to any question... ANY question..
K: Arjuna! u've kindled my curiosity.. kindly enlighten me..'
(psst..above line adopted from translation of Srimad Bhagavath Gita..hopefully blogger.com won't arrest me for plagiarism/copyright violation!!)

Arjuna: like i said.. GPA has all the answers..

Arjuna elaborated thus...
"Any question, my dear krishna..
Why did the chicken cross the road?..GPA..
How shall i find a suitable life-partner?.. GPA..
How to allot electives to students in CET?.. GPA..
Which brand of underwear should i buy?.. GPA..
God!!! Why me???.. GPA, my dear child..."



Krishna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..).. arjuna, i never realised all this...
Arjuna: don't worry krishna.. u r perhaps the only person in this world who hasn't heard of gpa..there's still time.. to catch up with everyone and learn the ways of the world..
Krishna: Arjuna, but u haven't thrown light on what GPA stands for.. what does it all mean, o arjuna!

Arjuna takes another deep breath.." Its a long story.. Years and years ago..when good men still walked on the earth(??).. GPA was called Grade Point Aggregate.. a mere indicator of students' academic performance (in KU exams)... later on, it gained so much importance that it was used as a "General Policy for (any) Allotment"... it was seen as unfair by a vast number of people.. but they were too timid to protest against the policy... later, they suffered, as they saw their "Genuine Passions Attacked".. their passion for knowledge.. their true aptitude thwarted.. they were denied the electives they asked for.. the knowledge they craved for...BUT they were too timid to protest..
This remained so for a long time.. till the rules became rigid.. till it was too late to question the authority.. a big "Goodbye to Protests and Arguments.."..
gpa has ruled our college lives ever since.."

Arjuna finished his speech rather dramatically.. Krishna was overcome by nausea..
He cleared his throat..(for it had become choked.. well, y else would anyone clear their throat dammit??).. he mused for a while, and collected himself...

Thus spake GoPAla krishna:
Remember, my dear Arjuna.. To survive in this college life and in the web of mundanity that the GPA spider (Genetically Programmed to be Atrocious) has spun.. it is not enough to have worldly knowledge alone.. it does not suffice to read the newspaper everyday, build up ur general knowledge, develop ur extra-curricular interests.. it doesn't spur u forward.. all u need to do is score well in Kerala University's "extremely fair" exams.. get a good gpa.. and do the practical thing.. You are known by ur gpa.. as a number.. just as prisoners r known by a number in jail.. U r trapped inside a bubble... gpa is ur only way out..

Sunday, 6 July 2008

An abortive attempt to save this blog

Accredited with a 3-star rating by the National Board of Non-sense.

(Warning: What u see below is nothing but pure, unadulterated crap. Absolute drivel. Crude, unrefined nonsense. This was something i wrote way back in 2008, and it's been sitting in my Drafts list ever since. This most immature article may feature in this blog only temporarily, and is subject to removal without prior notice. Oh, and please see the list of Fav. Posts if u came looking for something serious! Er..yeah, that's about it!)

Farm pigs, especially some famous ones, have been believed to be highly fussy about hunger. As in the words of the great Lord Styworth Piggington (1567 A.D-present), "Man generally disapproves of pigs. Pigs have no self-respect; they eat just about everything"..Yes, you may nod in agreement, while realising in the process, that man has "necks" that help him to nod; something evolution has been cruel to pigs about!! Ha!! Another point to score!!

But The International Society of Farm Animal Lovers (popularly known as ISFAL).. recently conducted a survey- 'On the Dining Preferences of pigs, irrespective of their class, creed, race, religion etc.' The results were revolting..

Speaking of revolting, lets all remember that the mighty Lord Styworth, who once redeemed these lovely creatures unfit and unwanted on God's Green Earth, is still alive and kicking.. The Results of the Survey, page 3 would alone be capable of putting his long line of pig-hating ancestors to eternal shame.. ISFAL revealed that on an average, pigs refused 172 samples of food out of the 200 they were offered..hmm.. hungry? maybe.. but choosy? yes, very much..

Even though he himself looks more like a pig nowadays than human, Lord S.Piggington took in the results pretty hard.. ISFAL caught up with "The Pig Witch", who was banished from his land about 400 years ago, due to reasons that have been cleverly manipulated in "The Pig Crime Records, 1590-1610."..
Well, she attributes his pig-like features to an ancient curse that distraught leaders, of renowned sties all over the world, cast upon the unfortunate man.

Stylus Magnopiggus, an ISFAL activist was almost sentimental: "Hungry, or 'greedy', as these pigs are usually referred to, maybe true..but self-esteem and Respect-for-the-Sty are more important issues in their lives..This man (Lord S.P) ought to be thrown to the hounds, for he had rendered the pigs' existence void meaning..by shaking their very beliefs and hurting their pride".. Magnopiggus, was reported to have hysterically shouted, "to the hounds!! to the hounds!!" as he burst into ambiguous tears of anger and triumph..

Well, let's just hope that 'La Hound Hormona' (the largest non-governmental Hound Lovers Club) does not come up with an agitation for Hound-Rights, what with the way the ISFAL activist expressed himself.. the situation may get out of hand, and Lord S.Piggington may lose the limelight.. But the time has come now for pigs to live in a world of respect..

An electronic device, called Pig-o-lator has been designed by ambitious students of Farmela University. The device seeks to establish direct communication between man and pig. Thanks to the device, the developments were reported to the Pig Chief (no, not panniyan raveendran), and He said that Sties were overjoyed. He also added that he felt hungry..

Lord Piggington, filled with remorse for his deadly sins, volunteered to grant pigs their freedom. He was last spotted outside a huge pig sty, trying to open the gate and let the pigs out. A stampede ensued when the gates were thrown open and the Lord was trampled to an inhuman, even unpiggish death.. and the hounds then arrived, punctual for their meal as usual..

ISFAL has hereby concluded that
a)irrespective of class, creed, race and religion of pigs..
b)irespective of size, sty and food-sample-rejection-ratio [FSRR] of pigs..
c)irrespective of whether pigs have been enslaved or not ..

"Hounds are never late for a meal"

References: (ok, bibliography, if u insist..)
a) The sample rejection ratio of 172/200 was actually talked abt on Animal Planet, which i've reproduced here (with permission, yeah!)
b) Pig Witch actually exists. If u read Terry Pratchett, that is...
c) Haven't u had enough?

Friday, 6 June 2008

Agastyarkoodam: Rendezvous with nature


If you are a trekking enthusiast, or a nature-lover, I have two words for you - 'Agastya Hills'. Here, you get to walk through thick jungles and open hilltop grasslands, wade through streams and rivulets, and climb near-vertical rock mountains as u make your way to the summit, through a series of unpredictable weather changes and complete isolation from the outside world. That's right. 60 kms of trekking and three days of breathing pure air, bathing in the purest water and living in harmony with Mother nature. No points for guessing that your mobile phone would be useless in this paradise 90 percent of the time.

Agastyarkoodam is the summit. It stands at 6200 feet above sea level, the second tallest peak in the south of India, roughly located at the Kerala - Tamil nadu border. At the peak is a sanctum of Sage Agastya, who is believed to have powers such as controlling the forces of nature, and is credited with the birth of the tamil language from which other south indian languages have sprung. The entry point to the trekking trip/ pilgrimage is at the Bonakkad Forest Office. Bonakkad lies about 10 kms off the Trivandrum- Ponmudi road, and has tea estates sprawled across its slopes. At the office, what one carries into the forest is scrutinized, as a step towards ensuring safety to the forest and its family of flora and fauna. Agastya Hills are renowned for the richness of medicinal plants that they are home to.

Thus one embarks on a 3-day journey of wonderful experiences that one shall treasure in his heart forever. As for my case, I can't wait for the onset of the next trekking season. The mere thought of the place builds up the zest of adventure, your soul would want to infuse with the beauty of the place..and its then that you start your tiny little ponderings on life.. well, sages are supposed to be full-time ponderers. so, putting 2 and 2 together, we can conclude that Sage agastya certainly knew what he was doing!


The first stretch of the trek is through sparse forest, which gets thicker upward. Pleasant walk, a wide forest path, with the mid-morning sun peeping occasionally through high branches, and birds chirping and tweeting in tune to the melody that u gradually start hearing. This stretch leads you on to a set of 3 or 4 waterfalls, one of which is the Karamana river in its beginning stages. As you move from one waterfall to the next one higher up, the chill sets in more pronouncedly and the trees, creepers and vines close in on the path. If the earth is wet, you can expect a lot of thirsty leeches up your leg. ( one of these streams is actually called Attayar!) Every waterfall is a resting point. The sight of the cascade, the sound of the gurgle and the feel of the fresh rapid water is as refreshing as nature meant it to be. From certain points, the view of the peppara dam and reservoir comes in.

After the final waterfall, there's a rapid climb towards open mountain tops. Only tall grass grows here. Co-incidentally, when one reaches this stage, the Sun would be up in the heavens, and it would be scorching heat everywhere, with very little trees to rest under. This is an extreme climate shift. But yes, this is a forest and that's how it will be. This open stretch goes on for about 4 kms, but the view from here is absolutely magnificent. On a clear day, one can see town settlements near the horizon and majestic rock faces further up. It was here that we heard the trumpet of an angry elephant and ran for our dear lives without even turning back to see where the pachyderm was. By the end of this stretch, you would be gasping for breath and water. Sometimes you may wish you had never even undertaken the journey. Even now, only a third and the easiest leg has been completed. Really discourages you sometimes. But when u have a group of 8 people trudging along uphill, u simply have to keep up with them.

All of a sudden and without warning, the geography changes again. It would feel like entering the rainforest after a walk in the sahara. The next phase is called Seven-fold-mountain, or Ezhu Madakku Mala. This is one hell of a jungle. There is no proper path. You need to choose the most stable, least slippery and least leech-inhabited piece of rock every step u take. The slope is very steep, the roots of gigantic trees block your way and in some places, fallen trees themselves obstruct you. This is a kingdom of crickets and rare birds. The sky is mostly not visible, there's a green canopy throughout.

Around early evening, you reach the base camp. The first day's journey ends here with around 20 kms on your tripmeter. The base camp has been set up by the forest dept. and is managed by an adivasi settlement nearby. There's one dormitory for accommodation at night, a make-shift kitchen and a stream nearby. It is here, at the base camp that you can have your first full 'darshan' of the Agastyamala. Its the most elegant, aristocratic-looking mountain I've ever seen. Its magnetism commands you to bow to the supreme power of nature. The verticality of the single piece of gigantic rock gives even experienced trekkers a shudder down the spine.

Nights are freezing cold. Without electricity, you are just stuck with candles, using them more for warmth rather than for light. We sleep on a plain mattress on a cold cemented floor. When the wind blows in every time, you see images of antartica and penguins in your dreams..and maybe of polar bears chasing you for a meal.

The next morning is the final part of the upward journey. After yet another phase of thick forest ,we reached a point where we had glimpses of a vast wilderness of rock whenever the passing mist cleared for a few seconds at a time! It was the most wild,exotic landscape ,gleaming with the myriad water streams running down its face and seemingly disappearing into nowhere! For a moment I felt lost in no-man's land! I was conscious of a sudden desire to spread my wings and fly over the valley, glide along the breeze and break into song! The hillside was rich with wild flowers that danced in the wind and dew drops that glimmered like pearls in the morning light, as if they weren't enough to add to the whole enchantment!

Rains in a forest always mean disaster, and for us, it began to look like we were going to taste some of it. The morning was hazy and misty, attempting to cripple our hopes of going further. From the base camp onwards, the altitude increases at a very fast rate. Visibility was very poor, it was not more than 5 feet. It looked just like a spooky horror movie,especially when one knows that tigers and bears are regularly sighted in these parts of the forest. People who started before we did for the peak started coming back, saddened to hopelessness.

It is foolish to endeavour to challenge nature if it doesn't wish you to. There is a dangerous point on the route. A stream flows fast over a vast flat rock, and suddenly it falls into a deep vertical ravine, just like u see in many movies. To go further, one has to cross the stream. If he slips while crossing, he's left to nature's final cruel treatment. We waited for a long time, praying for the mist to clear so that the stream could be crossed safely. Our prayers were answered, the mist slowly drifted out and we proceeded.

After a while the path stops. It would appear to be a dead end, but there would be a tiny stream flowing down. The only way up is to walk right into the stream, and wade up its course, as if you were searching for the source of the stream. This is the best part of the whole trek. Walking literally up'stream', again is a tricky bit. You have to watch out for faulty rocks and mossy slips. The trees around you get stunted as you climb higher.

The last leg is the toughest. Its impossible to proceed wearing trekking shoes. It has to be barefoot the rest of the way up. The terrain from now on is pure rock, with little shrubs nearby. The verticality of the rock-slopes is one good reason to summon up all the alertness one can gather. The second reason is the mist, and the little droplets of water that get sprayed over you all the time. The third reason is what makes this a real adventure- The final rock-slope is very narrow, with two vertical walls on either side. If one goes near the edge, one would be gazing down at 1000+ feet of gravity travel. The rock has to be climbed intelligently, with tact, holding onto the right cracks and grooves. Because of the steepness, one has to climb on all fours, imitating a lizard on a wall.

The satisfaction on reaching the peak is immense. Here the wind is so strong that it is unsafe to remain standing. The most interesting fact about the whole place is that there is a mystery at the sanctum of Sage Agastya, and we saw it. All the way down from the peak, it was mist and even rain, with powerful wind. But at the sanctum alone, there was sunlight, clear visibility, and not even a hint of the wind that was blowing with great force ten yards away. The sanctum, is nothing but an open space, a continuation, and why nature is so peaceful within that small region alone is indeed a mystery.Then we started the return journey. By this time, the mist had completely cleared and we could even see distant hills on the Tamil Nadu side. This is how weather keeps changing, and to live every moment of it is pure bliss.

The season is only 45 days in a year. During off-season, conditions are said to be inhumane. But every time one treks on the Agastya hills, its a whole new experience altogether. The excitement never wanes because of the myriad possibilities and uncertainties that nature offers. Its a suspense-packed adventure zone, a paradise-next-door for Trivandrum...and its beckoning us again!!!