Sunday 25 July 2010

The elephant and the bull- a Shenoy*

[Warning: A shenoy ahead! Please wear your seat-belts!]


The following incident was the turning point in wildlife reporter Sathish's life. This took place in 1971, a year before the Wildlife Protection Act (1972) came into force and partly depicts one of the sequences that led up to its legislation.

As he made his way up the rocky terrain of the Anaimalai Hills, Sathish was lost in contemplation. His career prospects looked bleak. He was 24, just as old as Independent India was. There seemed to be no future for him here. He considered migrating to the US.

Three years ago, in 1968, two of his journalist-friends had settled down in the States. They had then quit journalism, moved on and made big bucks in the stock markets. The idea had planted a seed in his mind..and it grew. He dreamt about NYSE all the time...and about a new stock exchange called NASDAQ set up in February that very year.

He looked up at the skies. Dark clouds were gathering above the village. A heavy downpour was imminent. He spotted a lone building a few hundred yards away. 'That must be the Chinnamalai Police Station', he said to himself, and dashed for shelter.

The first modern settlements in Chinnamalai village, nestled in the Anaimalai forest range, were initiated by Gen. Harold Westmond during the time of the British Raj. Game-hunting was a passion for the General. This region was elephant territory, and Gen. Westmond wasted no time in converting this place into a nucleus of ivory trade.
Soon, he had the village named after him. By 1971, Westmond village had been renamed as Chinnamalai village, but the inhabitants preferred using the British name. Colonial hangover had not elapsed.

The village wasn't just famous for ivory trade. Horticulture and poultry farming were practised with great enterprise. The Westmond Subji Market teemed with a variety of vegetables, mountain crops and poultry produce. In fact, poultry farming had become a huge success, so much so that references of 'Subji Market' were often corrected as 'Subji-Egg Market' by the villagers.

Meanwhile, inside the Chinnamalai Police Station, Sub-Inspector Rajan paced up and down the room. He was on special duty: Internationally prominent wildlife activist, Gabrian LeBeouf was campaigning in the village. He was gaining strength as an anti-poaching activist. LeBeouf vehemently opposed Ivory Trade. His mission in India was to introduce anti-poaching laws. He had done wonders to protect wildlife and had co- founded the International Fund for Animal Welfare in 1969.
S.I. Rajan admired Gabrian LeBeouf, to say the least.

Suddenly bad news had poured in: LeBeouf was shot in the arm! He was bleeding profusely. The nearest hospital was miles away. SI Rajan ordered his men to bring LeBeouf to the police station immediately. First-aid treatment was to be given.

The S.I. suspected the attack to be the ugly work of an ivory dacoit. His name (villagers shuddered when they heard it) was 'Neela-Lungi Bhaskaran'. He was notorious for his cold-blooded killings of dozens of elephants. What started for Bhaskaran as working as a forest guide, accompanying Gen. Westmond himself on his hunts, had turned into an ivory mafia, complete with smuggling and overseas connections.

The police discovered that Bhaskaran also sold ivory legitimately through an agent. To ward off any suspicion, all his trade contracts were signed in one of the shops in the Subji-Egg Market. The offer documents, viz. the papers that stated the terms and conditions of the trade were hidden somewhere in the market. This had been a magnificent find for the police: something to lead them to Bhaskaran's whereabouts!

At the front door of the station, P.C. Velu stood guard. Never had he seen the Sub-Inspector so worried in his life. 'Irritated'- yes, but 'Worried'- no! The S.I. always used to get irritated by Velu and his attempts to speak english. 'Full of grammatical errors', he used to say! But Velu loved speaking in English and never gave up.
His father had been a small-time tailor who sewed uniforms for the British soldiers. The first 5 english words that Velu learnt were these- 'Knicker, Shirting, Suiting, Vesting, Briefing'. His father had taught him those beautiful words. In his subconscious mind, random english words and phrases kept swimming about.

The dark clouds in the sky caught Velu's gaze. He could hear the police jeep coming from the direction of the Subji-Market. (Subji-Egg market, he corrected himself in time) Gabrian LeBeouf, bleeding profusely, was being brought in that jeep. From the opposite direction, a young man (whom we know to be Sathish) was hurrying towards the station.

Suddenly, a long, twisted fork of lightning struck somewhere near the edge of the forest. Thunderstorms shook the village. Rain had started to pour thick, chill and rich.
Then, Velu heard something that froze his blood! He was shell-shocked and stood rooted to the spot- The lightning and thunder had maddened the elephants in the forest. In a fit of musth, the agitated pachyderms were heading for the village! Life and property were at stake! Westmond Market was in danger! Bhaskaran's documents might be destroyed too, and the police may never be able to track him down! Oh, the horror of it all!

Velu was so shaken that he did not see the other constables carry LeBeouf in. He did not see Sathish step into the verandah either. As he slowly turned back, to inform the SI of what he had observed, the other constables were removing LeBeouf's jacket, followed by his 'shirting', but left his 'vesting' on (for it was quite cold at that time)

P.C. Velu stumbled into the room. In moments of great panic, he could speak only in English. Out in the verandah, Sathish heard the conversation that ensued between P.C. Velu and S.I. Rajan. They spoke fast. Breathlessly. The former spilled out the information, the latter gave out the necessary police orders. When one has to act fast, one doesn't usually pause for commas and full-stops as one speaks.
But the dialogue between them merely inspired Sathish. He was overjoyed! It was one of his favourite lines!

"Much elephant in Westmond, sir!" "Subji (egg too) market? Risk! Police, raid the offer documents! Care for LeBeouf here in vesting!"

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P.S.: To unlock the wordplay / shenoy in the last para, please see this and let it sink in slowly.

*A Shenoy is a long, winding story woven around a punny, one-liner (also known as a 'groaner')..originally the brainchild of narendra shenoy and named thus by his admirers.. To understand a shenoy, u need to go through the entire story.. and read the last line out loud and fast..repeatedly and with special attention, if required.. Click here, here, here and here for more!