krishna is a very knowledgeable fellow.. encyclopaedic, if i may use the word.. he talks abt technology, business, global issues, sports, philosphy... and arjuna simply gapes at him for his sheer intellect, speechless.. awestruck.. inebriated with the nectar of krishna's raw magnetism...
then one day, something happened that turned the world upside down.. no, not an earthquake or a tsunami.. no, no..not a hurricane either.. just take away the natural-disasters-category from ur mind..
arjuna had asked krishna a question to which he had no answer...
none at all..
krishna blinked.. (but blinking didn't help him find the answer either..)
this was what happened..
Krishna: (finishing lines of prev speech).. and that's how nutrigenomics promises a great future for mankind...
Arjuna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..):.. wow, krishna.. wow!!
K: (very unassumingly).. yes.. its great, i know..
A: krishna... krishna, can i ask u something?
K: sure..go ahead..
A: krishna.. what's ur GPA??
(silence)... (krishna thinks he didn't hear the question properly)...
K: er...my what... arjuna?
A: dude.. ur gpa...
Krishna thinks hard.. finally shakes his head.. and says, "dude.. i don't have the foggiest idea what u r talking abt.."
The world stood still.. Sea waves stopped in mid-tide and turned around to look at krishna.. the winds halted, surprised and shocked.. a guy trying to kill himself by jumping off from a flying jet, paused during mid-fall to wonder at what krishna had just said.. he had not heard of GPA..
A: Du'uh??!! krishna.. u've not heard of GPA??
K: ok now.. enough of this non-sense.. u r just bluffing.. what's this gpa anyway??
A: (takes a deep breath).. krishna... GPA.. is a way of life...
K: carry on..
A: u see.. GPA.. is like this philosophy that runs the wheels of the world..
K: eh??
A: well, how shall i explain it to u?.. GPA is like the universal answer to any question... ANY question..
K: Arjuna! u've kindled my curiosity.. kindly enlighten me..'
(psst..above line adopted from translation of Srimad Bhagavath Gita..hopefully blogger.com won't arrest me for plagiarism/copyright violation!!)
Arjuna: like i said.. GPA has all the answers..
Arjuna elaborated thus...
"Any question, my dear krishna..
Why did the chicken cross the road?..GPA..
How shall i find a suitable life-partner?.. GPA..
How to allot electives to students in CET?.. GPA..
Which brand of underwear should i buy?.. GPA..
God!!! Why me???.. GPA, my dear child..."
Krishna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..).. arjuna, i never realised all this...
Arjuna: don't worry krishna.. u r perhaps the only person in this world who hasn't heard of gpa..there's still time.. to catch up with everyone and learn the ways of the world..
Krishna: Arjuna, but u haven't thrown light on what GPA stands for.. what does it all mean, o arjuna!
Arjuna takes another deep breath.." Its a long story.. Years and years ago..when good men still walked on the earth(??).. GPA was called Grade Point Aggregate.. a mere indicator of students' academic performance (in KU exams)... later on, it gained so much importance that it was used as a "General Policy for (any) Allotment"... it was seen as unfair by a vast number of people.. but they were too timid to protest against the policy... later, they suffered, as they saw their "Genuine Passions Attacked".. their passion for knowledge.. their true aptitude thwarted.. they were denied the electives they asked for.. the knowledge they craved for...BUT they were too timid to protest..
This remained so for a long time.. till the rules became rigid.. till it was too late to question the authority.. a big "Goodbye to Protests and Arguments.."..
gpa has ruled our college lives ever since.."
Arjuna finished his speech rather dramatically.. Krishna was overcome by nausea..
He cleared his throat..(for it had become choked.. well, y else would anyone clear their throat dammit??).. he mused for a while, and collected himself...
Thus spake GoPAla krishna:
Remember, my dear Arjuna.. To survive in this college life and in the web of mundanity that the GPA spider (Genetically Programmed to be Atrocious) has spun.. it is not enough to have worldly knowledge alone.. it does not suffice to read the newspaper everyday, build up ur general knowledge, develop ur extra-curricular interests.. it doesn't spur u forward.. all u need to do is score well in Kerala University's "extremely fair" exams.. get a good gpa.. and do the practical thing.. You are known by ur gpa.. as a number.. just as prisoners r known by a number in jail.. U r trapped inside a bubble... gpa is ur only way out..
