The crows-connection

Windows and balconies were invented just so that Man could gaze at the world outside and ponder.

Electrical lines and cables were invented just so that birds could perch on them and ponder.

If either of the aforementioned species has the company of another member of the same species, the pondering turns into conversation.

I gazed out of the window. A crow was perched on an electrical line. She was obviously pondering. Another crow came flying by and took perch on the adjacent electrical line.

Crow 1: Hey! What's up??
Crow 2: Ah! There you are! Heard u finally got a placement on top of Burj Dubai...Congratulations! (offers handshake/wingshake)
Crow 1: Wha...backoff! Wingshake? You out of your senses? We're sitting on electrical lines of different phase voltages; if u touched me, we'd form a circuit with a voltage difference that would kill bo.....
Crow 2: Okay, okay..gotcha! Damn those humans! Knives and fire everywhere!
Crow 1: Hehe...T hanks, by the way.. yeah, the Burj is indeed spectacular. But i wonder what humans are really after...
Crow 2: Er...what do u mean?
Crow 1: Look at us ; we're such a peaceful lot. And look at them...they're so restless...
Crow 2: Hmm... Evolution has been cruel to them, you say?
Crow 1: Well, you could put it that way. They've evolved too much for their own good. Now every man wants to be better than the next.
Crow 2: Hmm... Maybe you're right. Chronic restlessness...the insurmountable itch to 'progress'...
Crow 1: Yeah, and I'm not really comfortable with their definition of 'progress' either...it's got a lot to do with brute force and brute reason!!
Crow 2: It's like, where one man gains, another has to lose. It's like an endless, perpetual see-saw.
Crow 1: Believe me, this see-saw is incidentally what keeps the world going.
Crow 2: Eh? What do u mean? That inequality and imperfection are the hands that run the world?
Crow 1: Not really. Let's presume that man is ultimately selfish. Their world, unlike ours, will never become perfect. There will always exist differences that'll bother man to insanity; and these differences keep the see-saw in motion...and Evolution in action.
Crow 2: Hmm..alright...and what abt us?
Crow 1: Well, we are different..and way better off.. our happiness is absolute. If I get my supper and you get yours, we're both happy. As for man, it's a very complicated relative matrix of needs, passions and emotions that are forever trying to balance each other.
Crow 2: ...and the fact that 'it's all relative' makes things as they are?
Crow 1: Exactly! Their world needs as fuel - jealousy, anger, lethargy, fear, folly, hatred and imperfection; otherwise it would crumble down and mankind would fall...
Crow 2: Er...didn't get you there..
Crow 1: If every man were happy, then civilization would fall. If every man were contended, his life wouldn't be different from ours - all he would have to do is, what, eat and sleep?
Crow 2: Eat and sleep and ponder*
Crow 1: Hehe... So in such a world, there would be no disease, no crime, no hunger.. Necessity would be a non-existent concept.. Man wouldn't evolve.. he would stay put.. he wouldn't budge.. no art, no culture, no sophistication.. the world would be a very predictable, boring place..
Crow 2: So true.. and it all wonderfully connects! 'All the world's a stage, all the men and women merely players, and all of us crows merely spectators!'
Crow 1: Ha! Shakespeare, in all his hurry, left out the last bit.. poor bloke probably thought we crows wouldn't know of it!
Crow 2: Yeah! So much for all the entertainment! Man ought to live! Manwatching is a glorious pastime..
Crow 1: Hehe. Anyway, I'm gonna take off now. It's been great talking to u. Caw-caw!
Crow 2: Caw-caw!

Pic: The Global Ponderers' Summit

(P.S: Unless you feel guilty abt Not Blogging for 2 months at a stretch, never ever listen to a conversation between crows! Caw-caw!)

Nostalgia that flooded in through the curtains...

It must have been nearly seven years ago.
That was the last time I heard that delightful sound...the last time I enjoyed watching the lantern swaying gently... faint, flickering...

Today, an hour before sunrise, as I opened my window facing the street, the world greeted me with a curiously familiar swish of morning breeze.

The streetlights were out. In the darkness, I could barely make out where the front gate stood. It had been raining all night. The scent of paala flowers still lingered on in the frigid morning air. Then, it happened again...

The breeze, gathering the scent and sweet chillness into a bouquet, rollicked in through the window, brushing the curtains away...and teased me as if to make me remember, as it caressed my face and broke away, withering the bouquet along, shredding the scent and chillness upon me...and then, flooding along with it - a memory..
it was déjà vu all over again!

It was on a day exactly like this that I had seen it and heard it for the last time.
Yes, I remembered now - Every morning, an hour before sunrise, a bullock-cart would trudge along the street.

The clitter-clatter of footsteps, the melodious percussion of the cartwheels going around, and the tinkering of the bells that adorned the beasts' neck.
Suspended below the cart near the front, there would be a lantern burning out its wick, showing the way, dancing to the rhythm of the cart shuffling along...

A moving portrayal of the gentle pace of life, drifting past my window nonchalantly, in no hurry to fade away into the imminent past...

I suddenly realised I may never get to savour such an experience again, for it had retired into the bygone once and for all ...


As I wallowed into nostalgia, several such recollections from the past fleeted by...
The squirrels that came running for the promised handful of groundnuts every morning...the mynas that chirped and tweeted about the day's agenda...and the debonair spinach vendor ringing his bicycle bell, gliding by... Occasionally, one could hear a cuckoo perform from a tree branch, and sight eagles sitting atop the Arts College building, scanning the skies...

They're all fading away...melting into oblivion...

I fear that our next generation would, perhaps, never get to enjoy such experiences at all!

I picked up the day's newspaper. On the supplement, the headline appeared to scoff at my thoughts.
"Mobile, TV are Life Enhancers" - Ajay Puri, Director, CEO - DTH, Bharti Airtel

No wonder! Sigh!

Tagged!

With people moving on from one form of social networking to another, i guess Blogal Warming has been brought down a lot.. The urge to put up something new on one's blog is fading away, added to the fact that life is tightening its screws everyday.. (hey, that rhymed!)

Shanky (happynuts) has tagged me.. and i signed in into my blogger dashboard after nearly 20 days! Thanks for the tag, pal :)
Here goes..

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

My eyes..they give my wisdom away.. :P

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?

Around 100 bucks (with some emergency cash stowed away in an inner flap!)

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

er.. i simply don't know why 'Al Gore' had to pop up in my head! (Going green, i guess..sigh!)

4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Jiya Jale - Fluid (flute)

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Sumesh aircel

6. What are you wearing right now?

the usual

7. Do you label yourself?

er..Non-labeller (wait a minute, isn't that another label??)

9. Bright or Dark Room?

Depends on the weather without and the mood within

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

Shanky: A very cool person, smiles all the time. Sunny and positive! :)

11. What does your watch look like?

I have a Casio digital for daily use (been keeping good time for 9 yrs)..and a silver Swiscardin for occasions

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Taking a stroll on the terrace..watching the finale of the Diwali fireworks!

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"God bless SpongeBob SquarePants!"
-Abhinav Dasgupta

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?

'actually' !!

15. Who told you he/she loved you last? (Please exclude spouse, family, children)

My music sir, who taught me carnatic music while i was at school. He's 80+. His affection spoke these words when i'd gone to pay my respects on the day of Vijayadasami :)

16. Last furry thing you touched

Er..can't remember..no pets at home..do soft toys count?

17. Favorite age you have been so far?

13-15. Ah! the good old school days!

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"Speed petrol for 100Rs."

19. The last song you listened to?

'Primavera' by Ludovico Einaudi...bliss!!

20. Where did you live in 1987?

Ah.. Previous birth, eh? let me see..i bet i was an emperor penguin in Antarctica!

21. Are you jealous of anyone?

Siddharth Vinayak Patankar. The guy who hosts the Car & Bike show, NDTV.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?

I don't think so. No green-eyed monster looking at me!

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times

A handkerchief, my watch..and of late, my glasses..

24. What’s your favorite town/city?

Any city with a lot of culture and greenery.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Two months back, to the NTSE office. The dumbos sitting in the aforementioned office are the sole reason why Redtapism exists on earth.

26. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yes

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

They don't manufacture RD350's nowadays. Heard one zoom past my house last week. She had disappeared b4 i got to the window :(

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

No, I'm as fit as a fiddle.

29. What is your current desktop picture?

One among the 900-odd scenic photos from my Webshots Desktop collection. Pic changes every 15 mins. (Current pic)

30. Have you been burnt by love?

Yes, in the sense, i've been burnt many times by realising that i don't give as much love as i receive.

Whew! that was quite a set.. relatively easier than other sets of questions we people usually see :P
Thanks to shanky again for the tag! I'd like to tag unnithan, rinz and n5!

Refer Textbook, Page XYZ

Nowadays in college, free hours are hard to come by.. All of a sudden, students have become attendance-lovers too.. Proxies have lost their appeal.. Strange thing to happen in a final year-engineering class, u would say.. Gladdening development for the dept., but strange nevertheless..

Well, teachers are part of this conspiracy too.. They engage every single class, to the point of overdoing it.. The overdoing part refers to keeping the students "engaged/busy" even if the teacher is on leave!!.. Inspired, no doubt, by a routine trick used to handle mischievous kids in primary school.. under the pretext of SUPW or the likes of it..

Surprised? Don't be.. After-all, there are some cheap tricks that do work on a bunch of 21 year-olds! Cheap, but effective.. 'Make them an offer they can't refuse!'

Allow me to narrate how and why.. One day, we came to know that one of our teachers was on leave.. So, we were anticipating a free-hour in the middle of the day.. one which brings out a lovely colour in everyone.. which unhooks, relieves and liberates.. One which gives u that extra kick that makes all the difference!

So, as I was saying, this teacher was on leave.. but she had other plans up her sleeve and wouldn't spare us the arrows.. Perhaps she dreaded the thought of sixty odd 21-year olds wantonly roaming about the campus, up to no good.. So, she racked her brains.. The devil pulled the levers for her in the background.. An idea clicked in her head.. and voila! We were to take an open-book test in her absence.. What an idea, sirjee!

Apart from the fact that open-book tests are one of the most boring activities in life, I just can't understand their philosophy.. I mean, we are given a few standard, direct questions.. the answers are Right There in the textbook.. All we really need to do is to look at the contents page, locate the topic and start the mechanical process commonly known as copying/writing..

This wasn't all.. the open-book test was invigilated! Wtf?? I guess, these are the kind of situations that lead to new terms being coined.. like 'Ethical Copying'!! This also meant that another teacher had lost her free hour to this futile, pointless exercise.. Devil's own handiwork, no doubt.. What we have here is a lose-lose strategy..

The ponderer that i am, i took a casual glance around the class.. "Wow! Sixty odd 21-year olds, who would be involved in the process of Nation-Building in a year from now..perfunctorily replicating answers directly from a capsule-size textbook onto a piece of paper, motivated only by the promise of being awarded sessional marks, or rather, threatened by the opposite!"

Some exchanged textbooks. Some discussed. Some wrote with a vengeance. Some others sharpened their pencils and took position, complete with ruler and eraser. Some looked around the class just like I did. It was like a 'Who's the fastest photocopier machine contest'. Such a machine, as u must already know, is not designed to absorb/understand the content to be copied.

The invigilator looked lost. Her face revealed her plight.. one doesn't have to be very creative to think of what all one can do if a 1-hour break is on the offing..Well, at least the H.O.D would be pleased to know that such a ritual went off well.. and our teacher would be smug and smiling by now..

Pointless, about sums it up. I'm not going to be known as 'The Father of Ethical Copying' either.

After the 'test':
21-yr old #1: How was the test?
21-yr old #2: Sh*t man! Didn't get time to do the numerical..
#1: oh! Luckily, i got that one.. messed up the diagrams though..
#2: really? i used scale and pencil.. we'll get marks for neat diagrams..
#1: u serious? i'm in deep sh*t then.. will lose 'x' marks..
#2: that's just 'y' marks from ur sessionals and 'z' from ur gpa..
(blah.. blah.. blah..)

And then, there are people who never learn.. despite the metaphorical open-book laid out in front of them..

(Disclaimer: The test actually took place, but the conversation did not. Any resemblance, in full or part, to the conversation is purely co-incidental. My sincere apologies..and heartfelt sympathies!)

For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way..

Dark clouds swept down on my mind..
Strangling my cheer, with a smile unkind..
They thundered and menaced on my bleeding heart..
They hurled on my sorrow, dart after dart..

Trudging through the mist- thick, chill and blind..
I cared nought for what lay 'head or behind..
For Fate stabbed my heart with a cruel knife..
Plundering me of a Friend & joy in life..

O pain & agony! Stop thy wicked play!
For I've lost my Friend.. I've lost my way..

Amidst tears and sobs, I rendered them my tale..
and lo! The clouds wept, and away went the gale!!

The Sun then emerged with a gleam in his eyes,
a smile on his lips, healing all malaise..
Heralding his wake, the burgeoning vale,
unfurled its beauty to the fullest scale!

Flowers blossomed forth and scented the air..
Trees danced in the breeze without a care..
Rivulets and creeks gurgled down the dale..
Birds sang & bees buzzed, adorning the vale..

I beheld this portrait of Nature's bliss..
But beneath I felt something amiss!
This new-found joy had filled my soul,
Yet I had none with whom to share this bowl..

I felt alone, even in a place so charming..
I felt forlorn, in this heaven enchanting..

My joy and my sorrow battled one another..
I stood helpless, for my friend wasn't hither..

Of what use is a joy that one can't share???
Of what use is sorrow that none's ears can bear??

The dark clouds swept down on me again!!
The vale too sparkled to humour me, in vain!!

Tawa wars!!!

The world is changing..
I can feel it in the wind.. I can smell it in the air..
The sweet smell that wafts by.. flirts with my nostrils..
Yes.. the time has come..
It is now that I must make haste.. I must act quickly..

Like a warrior drawing his sword, i raised the ladle..
i shoved it underneath the dosa..
and before the flame of the stove blackened the underside.. i swiftly flipped the dosa.. and tossed it back on the tawa..
triumphantly, i withdrew my ladle..
Thus, Dosa side-A was saved..

i admired my work.. enchanted, i beheld the golden-brown glow of the wafery crispness..
then, i looked up the chimney.. and raised my hands in thanksgiving..
'Thank you, Roy Plunkett (of Kinetic Chemicals).. Had it not been for you, we'd never have had the delight of using Non-stick Cookware!!'

Seriously, non-stick tawas 'rock'..( dosa-'kallu'..hehe)!!.. they're coated with teflon.. which means.. no matter how little ghee/oil/butter u add to the tawa, ur food does not stick on to it.. so, u can save on calories n stuff too.. wow!!
Hey.. isn't it quite ironical... that inspite of the Teflon Revolution... cookery-show-aunties are so fat these days??

Anyway, that being a side-issue.. i thought i'd discuss it later.. during breakfast, perhaps.. "who's fat and who's not" has always been a favourite topic since our non-stick arrived..
And as i waited for the flames to add their finishing touches to Dosa side-B, i turned my thoughts down memory lane..

It was 8 years ago.. i stood in the kitchen with a ladle in my hand.. my head held high.. (bcos i was trying to smell and assess whether the underside was blackening!!..).. suddenly, the dosa started behaving in a very odd manner.. it coughed and spluttered.. being a helpless 12 year old boy, i ran to fetch my mother.. she came and took over..

armed with the ladle, both of us struggled to pull the dosa away from the tawa.. it was a tug-of-war between the flames and us.. Fire was claiming the underside for itself.. and we started de-plastering it in every possible way.. (The tawa was a non-Non-stick type!!)

But alas!.. the dosa had stuck on blindly.. it was a battle that we lost.. tawas can be very demanding when they grow old.. so we put our foot down, and decided to do away with the monster.. We ordered a brand new non-stick tawa which serves us to this day..

I looked at the non-stick tawa beaming with pride..
But Shock! Horror! Disbelief!! My flashback had come with a price...
Fire was back with an evil grin... to reclaim Dosa side-B!!!

GPA: the 'G'rand 'P'icture of 'A'pplied-electronics..

I happen to know two people... Arjuna and Krishna... they're fellow engineering students.. krishna is the all-knowing omnipotent one.. arjuna is his friend who admires him endlessly... (hey, now wait a minute.. this sounds a li'l familiar... aha!! mahabharata.. bhagavat gita.. bravo!! u're a genius..)

krishna is a very knowledgeable fellow.. encyclopaedic, if i may use the word.. he talks abt technology, business, global issues, sports, philosphy... and arjuna simply gapes at him for his sheer intellect, speechless.. awestruck.. inebriated with the nectar of krishna's raw magnetism...

then one day, something happened that turned the world upside down.. no, not an earthquake or a tsunami.. no, no..not a hurricane either.. just take away the natural-disasters-category from ur mind..

arjuna had asked krishna a question to which he had no answer...
none at all..
krishna blinked.. (but blinking didn't help him find the answer either..)

this was what happened..

Krishna: (finishing lines of prev speech).. and that's how nutrigenomics promises a great future for mankind...
Arjuna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..):.. wow, krishna.. wow!!
K: (very unassumingly).. yes.. its great, i know..
A: krishna... krishna, can i ask u something?
K: sure..go ahead..
A: krishna.. what's ur GPA??
(silence)... (krishna thinks he didn't hear the question properly)...
K: er...my what... arjuna?
A: dude.. ur gpa...

Krishna thinks hard.. finally shakes his head.. and says, "dude.. i don't have the foggiest idea what u r talking abt.."
The world stood still.. Sea waves stopped in mid-tide and turned around to look at krishna.. the winds halted, surprised and shocked.. a guy trying to kill himself by jumping off from a flying jet, paused during mid-fall to wonder at what krishna had just said.. he had not heard of GPA..

A: Du'uh??!! krishna.. u've not heard of GPA??
K: ok now.. enough of this non-sense.. u r just bluffing.. what's this gpa anyway??
A: (takes a deep breath).. krishna... GPA.. is a way of life...
K: carry on..
A: u see.. GPA.. is like this philosophy that runs the wheels of the world..
K: eh??
A: well, how shall i explain it to u?.. GPA is like the universal answer to any question... ANY question..
K: Arjuna! u've kindled my curiosity.. kindly enlighten me..'
(psst..above line adopted from translation of Srimad Bhagavath Gita..hopefully blogger.com won't arrest me for plagiarism/copyright violation!!)

Arjuna: like i said.. GPA has all the answers..

Arjuna elaborated thus...
"Any question, my dear krishna..
Why did the chicken cross the road?..GPA..
How shall i find a suitable life-partner?.. GPA..
How to allot electives to students in CET?.. GPA..
Which brand of underwear should i buy?.. GPA..
God!!! Why me???.. GPA, my dear child..."



Krishna: (dazed, awestruck, dumbfounded etc..).. arjuna, i never realised all this...
Arjuna: don't worry krishna.. u r perhaps the only person in this world who hasn't heard of gpa..there's still time.. to catch up with everyone and learn the ways of the world..
Krishna: Arjuna, but u haven't thrown light on what GPA stands for.. what does it all mean, o arjuna!

Arjuna takes another deep breath.." Its a long story.. Years and years ago..when good men still walked on the earth(??).. GPA was called Grade Point Aggregate.. a mere indicator of students' academic performance (in KU exams)... later on, it gained so much importance that it was used as a "General Policy for (any) Allotment"... it was seen as unfair by a vast number of people.. but they were too timid to protest against the policy... later, they suffered, as they saw their "Genuine Passions Attacked".. their passion for knowledge.. their true aptitude thwarted.. they were denied the electives they asked for.. the knowledge they craved for...BUT they were too timid to protest..
This remained so for a long time.. till the rules became rigid.. till it was too late to question the authority.. a big "Goodbye to Protests and Arguments.."..
gpa has ruled our college lives ever since.."

Arjuna finished his speech rather dramatically.. Krishna was overcome by nausea..
He cleared his throat..(for it had become choked.. well, y else would anyone clear their throat dammit??).. he mused for a while, and collected himself...

Thus spake GoPAla krishna:
Remember, my dear Arjuna.. To survive in this college life and in the web of mundanity that the GPA spider (Genetically Programmed to be Atrocious) has spun.. it is not enough to have worldly knowledge alone.. it does not suffice to read the newspaper everyday, build up ur general knowledge, develop ur extra-curricular interests.. it doesn't spur u forward.. all u need to do is score well in Kerala University's "extremely fair" exams.. get a good gpa.. and do the practical thing.. You are known by ur gpa.. as a number.. just as prisoners r known by a number in jail.. U r trapped inside a bubble... gpa is ur only way out..