Accredited with a 3-star rating by the National Board of Non-sense.
(Warning: What u see below is nothing but pure, unadulterated crap. Absolute drivel. Crude, unrefined nonsense. This was something i wrote way back in 2008, and it's been sitting in my Drafts list ever since. This most immature article may feature in this blog only temporarily, and is subject to removal without prior notice. Oh, and please see the list of Fav. Posts if u came looking for something serious! Er..yeah, that's about it!)
But The International Society of Farm Animal Lovers (popularly known as ISFAL).. recently conducted a survey- 'On the Dining Preferences of pigs, irrespective of their class, creed, race, religion etc.' The results were revolting..
Speaking of revolting, lets all remember that the mighty Lord Styworth, who once redeemed these lovely creatures unfit and unwanted on God's Green Earth, is still alive and kicking.. The Results of the Survey, page 3 would alone be capable of putting his long line of pig-hating ancestors to eternal shame.. ISFAL revealed that on an average, pigs refused 172 samples of food out of the 200 they were offered..hmm.. hungry? maybe.. but choosy? yes, very much..
Even though he himself looks more like a pig nowadays than human, Lord S.Piggington took in the results pretty hard.. ISFAL caught up with "The Pig Witch", who was banished from his land about 400 years ago, due to reasons that have been cleverly manipulated in "The Pig Crime Records, 1590-1610."..
Well, she attributes his pig-like features to an ancient curse that distraught leaders, of renowned sties all over the world, cast upon the unfortunate man.
Stylus Magnopiggus, an ISFAL activist was almost sentimental: "Hungry, or 'greedy', as these pigs are usually referred to, maybe true..but self-esteem and Respect-for-the-Sty are more important issues in their lives..This man (Lord S.P) ought to be thrown to the hounds, for he had rendered the pigs' existence void meaning..by shaking their very beliefs and hurting their pride".. Magnopiggus, was reported to have hysterically shouted, "to the hounds!! to the hounds!!" as he burst into ambiguous tears of anger and triumph..
Well, let's just hope that 'La Hound Hormona' (the largest non-governmental Hound Lovers Club) does not come up with an agitation for Hound-Rights, what with the way the ISFAL activist expressed himself.. the situation may get out of hand, and Lord S.Piggington may lose the limelight.. But the time has come now for pigs to live in a world of respect..
An electronic device, called Pig-o-lator has been designed by ambitious students of Farmela University. The device seeks to establish direct communication between man and pig. Thanks to the device, the developments were reported to the Pig Chief (no, not panniyan raveendran), and He said that Sties were overjoyed. He also added that he felt hungry..
Lord Piggington, filled with remorse for his deadly sins, volunteered to grant pigs their freedom. He was last spotted outside a huge pig sty, trying to open the gate and let the pigs out. A stampede ensued when the gates were thrown open and the Lord was trampled to an inhuman, even unpiggish death.. and the hounds then arrived, punctual for their meal as usual..
ISFAL has hereby concluded that
a)irrespective of class, creed, race and religion of pigs..
b)irespective of size, sty and food-sample-rejection-ratio [FSRR] of pigs..
c)irrespective of whether pigs have been enslaved or not ..
"Hounds are never late for a meal"
Stylus Magnopiggus, an ISFAL activist was almost sentimental: "Hungry, or 'greedy', as these pigs are usually referred to, maybe true..but self-esteem and Respect-for-the-Sty are more important issues in their lives..This man (Lord S.P) ought to be thrown to the hounds, for he had rendered the pigs' existence void meaning..by shaking their very beliefs and hurting their pride".. Magnopiggus, was reported to have hysterically shouted, "to the hounds!! to the hounds!!" as he burst into ambiguous tears of anger and triumph..
Well, let's just hope that 'La Hound Hormona' (the largest non-governmental Hound Lovers Club) does not come up with an agitation for Hound-Rights, what with the way the ISFAL activist expressed himself.. the situation may get out of hand, and Lord S.Piggington may lose the limelight.. But the time has come now for pigs to live in a world of respect..
An electronic device, called Pig-o-lator has been designed by ambitious students of Farmela University. The device seeks to establish direct communication between man and pig. Thanks to the device, the developments were reported to the Pig Chief (no, not panniyan raveendran), and He said that Sties were overjoyed. He also added that he felt hungry..
Lord Piggington, filled with remorse for his deadly sins, volunteered to grant pigs their freedom. He was last spotted outside a huge pig sty, trying to open the gate and let the pigs out. A stampede ensued when the gates were thrown open and the Lord was trampled to an inhuman, even unpiggish death.. and the hounds then arrived, punctual for their meal as usual..
ISFAL has hereby concluded that
a)irrespective of class, creed, race and religion of pigs..
b)irespective of size, sty and food-sample-rejection-ratio [FSRR] of pigs..
c)irrespective of whether pigs have been enslaved or not ..
"Hounds are never late for a meal"
References: (ok, bibliography, if u insist..)
a) The sample rejection ratio of 172/200 was actually talked abt on Animal Planet, which i've reproduced here (with permission, yeah!)
b) Pig Witch actually exists. If u read Terry Pratchett, that is...
c) Haven't u had enough?
