Kitchen safari

Situation. Its midnight. And u r hungry. u desperately need to get into the kitchen to stuff some biscuits down ur gut. So, all u have to do is simply go into the kitchen and stuff some biscuits down ur gut.

Welcome to my house. Here, i live in harmony with nature. Therefore, its not directly possible for me to go into the kitchen to stuff some biscuits down my gut. Yup, if i do that, i'm calling for trouble and have missed out certain crucial steps.

Its quite an old house. It's too old that it's tired and exhausted because of counting how old it's getting every year. The sight of Jerry nibbling at a piece of cheese on Cartoon Network can make u relaxed, but it's not gonna be the same kind of entertainment u r gonna get in the kitchen of an old house. U'll jump up in shock, grab ur pyjamas and flee frm the spot, stamping over several cockroaches and lizards on the way... so much mortality just for a couple of biscuits.. why doesn't the media take up this issue seriously?

Watching lions, komodo dragons and killer sharks on national geographic is such a pleasure. Even in real life, safaris r thought to be adventurous and exciting. But what the hell is a squeaky little mouse gonna do to u? well, wild encounters that r made by surprise sure do perplex and unsettle the human mind. forget the biscuits...when u try to sleep u have nightmares about mice, rats and civet cats on the prowl.. i'm not kidding.. they run over the roof like it's a vintage theme park..

Other species that succumb to old mansionly residences include certain spiders, wasps and bandicoots.. populations are chiefly confined to outhouses.. official visits r made to the kitchen when nocturnal conditions prevail.. family trips r common especially during the time of purchase of groceries.. hey, everyone needs their festival alright!!

Well, the simple solution to avoid disastrous consequences is to turn on the kitchen light from outside, bang on the door a few times, and then storm in, singing 'crawling in my skin..' Now u can have the biscuit treat.. and whats new! we have festival offers.. get some rat poison, mix it with 3-week old unconsumed laddoos and lay down the banquet for the night visitors.. the mortein magic takes their lives only when they're outdoors..

Rodents r not seen as a part of mother nature's privileged elite..( sob! sob!)..but the flipside of the pessimism is that they increase our mental alertness.. certain unwritten rules like "tap hard with ur feet when u walk at night", "U r the man before the mouse, don't swap roles" and "Rodents love mortein-laddoo delicacies" certainly smoothen life easier.. and u can digest those biscuits better..

Glossary:
bandicoot: perichaazhi;
civet cat: marapetti;
wasp: kadannal

none of the others taste good except the civet cat! so, who's gonna be my first customer, zam zam or kalavara? :P