A tough pill to swallow

Who says brave men do not have secret fears? FYI, Wisdom says, “ After all..a brave man is also a human being.. and there’s bound to be Something that inspires fear in him”.. Something that would send a shiver down his spine.. Something that would remind him of his weakness.. and strike him down, knocking him off his bearings..


..and when that terrible Something happens, all his celebrated bravery gets thwarted.. Speaking of brave men, Achilles seemed to have had a rather notorious problem with his heel.. And i... well, i have had a rather nasty problem with swallowing pills.. gulp!

Yeah.. the very thought of having to swallow a pill would scare the bugeeses out of me!! If u must know, i have my reasons too.. It all started when i was in the 4th grade..

One day.. without prior notice, a Giant Pink Lollipop decided to get ensconced in my throat.. just like that.. what nerve!! You see, usually i'm a friendly, hospitable guy and i like entertaining guests.. but this time, i refused to be humoured.. i simply couldn't bring myself to pander to lollipops and their unreasonable whims..

And so.. with all the lung power i could muster, i volleyed to get the rascal out of his hidey-hole.. i coughed and splattered.. i tried new-age yoga techniques for rapid-air-expulsion.. Several abortive attempts later, i gave up.. defeated and subdued.. bravery & confidence shattered.. I couldn’t do it on my own..

After this ghastly accident, every time i had to see a doctor.. the cruel memory came knocking on my door.. (trying to haunt me with a lollipop the size of a fully blown balloon)... I developed a great dislike for doctors who prescribed too many pills..

for Wisdom says, "Eat fruits, Drink water and Do exercises.. oh! and if possible, Shun pills!"

But in order to remain in the pink of health, i was forced to take those pills, no matter what.. So I came up with an ingenious solution to end my pill-swallowing woes..

Step 1) take a glass of water..

Step 2) place the pill on a flat surface, such as a dining table.. pick up a heavy object.. mercilessly crush the tablet to powder..

Step 3) gloat over the crushed pill and let out an evil laugh/guffaw for added effect..

Step 4) mix the powder in the water and... whoosh!

Back to healthy! No swallows, no hassles!

One day in summer, a neighbour of mine found out abt Operation Kill Pill.. and within hours, the whole colony was talking abt The Boy Who Couldn't Swallow... My neighbour was a formidable lady with big, round eyes and a towering stature.. the unofficial Gossip Queen (G.Q.) of the neighbourhood.. i used to be scared to death of her.. whenever she spotted something interesting, her eyes would pop out like tadpoles jumping out of a well.. needless to say, this mimicry of amphibian life terrified children in the neighbourhood..

..but Wisdom says, "Stand up to your fears"...and i was a brave man.. So, i took it up as a challenge.. determined to swallow, i picked up a carton of Cadbury's Gems.. took out a Gem.. sat out on the terrace, relaxed my throat and summoned up my bravery.. taking a deep breath, i placed the Gem on my tongue, sipped water... and tried to swallow it.. and it worked! I was elated, overjoyed! There was a surge of confidence in me.. the feeling of triumph in overcoming an irrational fear!... It may have been the summer heat, but I wanted to try it again.. I wanted to overcome the fear once and for all!

I picked up another Gem and readied myself.. and then, events started unfolding in quick succession..

As i sipped some water, there was a sudden commotion behind me.. halfway thru' the process, with face turned upward and not in the best of positions...i turned around to the source of the noise..

i saw Madame G.Q. and some of her gossipmates, lined up like a Brigade, ready to pry and attack..

Gossipmate#1 pointed & gasped, "Look, vasumati! he's swallowing!"..

Madame G.Q.'s eyes popped out..

My throat gagged up.. i choked.. the Gem got stuck in my throat again..The old memory flashed before my eyes..

Gossipmate#2 pointed & gasped, "Look, vasumati! he's choking!"

Madame G.Q.'s eyes popped out more.. the tadpoles wanting to fly out like never before, but alas, falling short of escape velocity..

Fear completely gripped me.. my throat went loose.. As if by reflex, i coughed, and the Gem went flying out, narrowly missing G.Q's tadpole wells..

the Gossip Brigade did the customary pointing & gasping again.. Then, sensing that there remained nothing else to do, the Brigade broke away..

As for me, i was back where i started.. The rest of summer was not a very grand time for me either..

Well..u know what Wisdom says- "One swallow does not make a summer"