Sunday 27 September 2009

Refer Textbook, Page XYZ

Nowadays in college, free hours are hard to come by.. All of a sudden, students have become attendance-lovers too.. Proxies have lost their appeal.. Strange thing to happen in a final year-engineering class, u would say.. Gladdening development for the dept., but strange nevertheless..

Well, teachers are part of this conspiracy too.. They engage every single class, to the point of overdoing it.. The overdoing part refers to keeping the students "engaged/busy" even if the teacher is on leave!!.. Inspired, no doubt, by a routine trick used to handle mischievous kids in primary school.. under the pretext of SUPW or the likes of it..

Surprised? Don't be.. After-all, there are some cheap tricks that do work on a bunch of 21 year-olds! Cheap, but effective.. 'Make them an offer they can't refuse!'

Allow me to narrate how and why.. One day, we came to know that one of our teachers was on leave.. So, we were anticipating a free-hour in the middle of the day.. one which brings out a lovely colour in everyone.. which unhooks, relieves and liberates.. One which gives u that extra kick that makes all the difference!

So, as I was saying, this teacher was on leave.. but she had other plans up her sleeve and wouldn't spare us the arrows.. Perhaps she dreaded the thought of sixty odd 21-year olds wantonly roaming about the campus, up to no good.. So, she racked her brains.. The devil pulled the levers for her in the background.. An idea clicked in her head.. and voila! We were to take an open-book test in her absence.. What an idea, sirjee!

Apart from the fact that open-book tests are one of the most boring activities in life, I just can't understand their philosophy.. I mean, we are given a few standard, direct questions.. the answers are Right There in the textbook.. All we really need to do is to look at the contents page, locate the topic and start the mechanical process commonly known as copying/writing..

This wasn't all.. the open-book test was invigilated! Wtf?? I guess, these are the kind of situations that lead to new terms being coined.. like 'Ethical Copying'!! This also meant that another teacher had lost her free hour to this futile, pointless exercise.. Devil's own handiwork, no doubt.. What we have here is a lose-lose strategy..

The ponderer that i am, i took a casual glance around the class.. "Wow! Sixty odd 21-year olds, who would be involved in the process of Nation-Building in a year from now..perfunctorily replicating answers directly from a capsule-size textbook onto a piece of paper, motivated only by the promise of being awarded sessional marks, or rather, threatened by the opposite!"

Some exchanged textbooks. Some discussed. Some wrote with a vengeance. Some others sharpened their pencils and took position, complete with ruler and eraser. Some looked around the class just like I did. It was like a 'Who's the fastest photocopier machine contest'. Such a machine, as u must already know, is not designed to absorb/understand the content to be copied.

The invigilator looked lost. Her face revealed her plight.. one doesn't have to be very creative to think of what all one can do if a 1-hour break is on the offing..Well, at least the H.O.D would be pleased to know that such a ritual went off well.. and our teacher would be smug and smiling by now..

Pointless, about sums it up. I'm not going to be known as 'The Father of Ethical Copying' either.

After the 'test':
21-yr old #1: How was the test?
21-yr old #2: Sh*t man! Didn't get time to do the numerical..
#1: oh! Luckily, i got that one.. messed up the diagrams though..
#2: really? i used scale and pencil.. we'll get marks for neat diagrams..
#1: u serious? i'm in deep sh*t then.. will lose 'x' marks..
#2: that's just 'y' marks from ur sessionals and 'z' from ur gpa..
(blah.. blah.. blah..)

And then, there are people who never learn.. despite the metaphorical open-book laid out in front of them..

(Disclaimer: The test actually took place, but the conversation did not. Any resemblance, in full or part, to the conversation is purely co-incidental. My sincere apologies..and heartfelt sympathies!)